Why?
by angelofmusicxo
Summary: Bella doubts her relationship with Edward... EdwardxBella fluff! oneshot! REVIEW!


Why?

BPOV

Edward's lips brushed my cheek one last time, and he ran. His arm caressed my back for a moment as it dropped from around my neck to his side.

He was in front of me and then gone in a flash, no longer in sight… and yet… the place where his hand lay on my collar bone was still warm from the sudden rush of blood that had crept up to my cheeks. That spot where he had touched my shoulder was still feeling indescribable sensations.

I stood there, in the middle of the woodsy path, staring at the spot from which he had just disappeared.

His scent still hung in the air, calling me, tempting me to follow him on the hunting trip.

He'd be gone for a couple of hours… which left me with everything and absolutely nothing to do.

Crossing my arms, and hugging myself, I started to meander back to my home. Charlie was working night shift tonight, so I had plenty of time for myself…

But I didn't _want _that time by myself.

I wanted to be with Edward… and nothing could preoccupy my mind from him… everything about him: his compelling voice, his luring aroma, his gripping eyes, his beautiful hair, his sculpted chest, his lithe and graceful movements… _him. _

I almost started laughing at myself. Why did _I _always have to be the damsel in distress? I used to be a self-respecting, strong opinioned, independent girl with values and ideas of my own.

I now, I depended on him. My survival and existence depended solely on him.

I clutched my heart, which wasn't there anymore. It. Wasn't. There. Just wasn't there. It was as if this beautiful being had stolen it from me… or rather, I had given it to him.

But did I have his heart? Did I own him as much as he owned me? No, that was a sheer understatement. I belonged to him, I was his puppet, and he had my heart, my body, my soul, in the palm of his cold, loving, dear hands. And he could do anything to it. Destroy it or save it.

I didn't deserve him. Why didn't he just leave? He had the ability to leave me… he had done so before without hesitation. Why couldn't he do it again? I wasn't special. Except for the fact that he couldn't read my mind, I wasn't different from any other human. So…why me? He'd probably be happier without me, anyways.

I found myself shaking my head vigorously, as if trying to stop myself from thinking such horrible thoughts.

No, I told myself. I didn't _want _him to leave. I didn't want to be selfish, but it was human nature to want personal happiness, and satisfaction, was it not?

Why was I like this?

I found myself miraculously in front of my doorstep, hand unconsciously reaching out to touch the doorknob. It felt like zombie state all over again… but the zombie state was better than this, wasn't it? What I felt before was better than this… because this was my second time, and new fears aroused.

This time, he had a chance of staying away. This time, he might not come back. This time, there was no warning of his departure.

_Don't think like that, Bella. _The unbelievably optimistic part of me said. _He promised… he promised he wouldn't do that to you again. _

No, I told it. Why me?

_He chose you. _

I tuned it out. I didn't want to cause myself pain by getting my hopes up.

I now discovered my unconscious body standing in my room, in front of the closet. It was getting late, and the moonlight streamed through the sheer, silk curtains hanging by my window.

I changed my clothes and walked to the mirror.

Shocked, I gasped, and touched my cheek lightly. Was this really me? If I were to read my own expression, I would have thought that it was the end of something.

I shook my head, ashamed of how pathetic I was.

Climbing into bead, I turned off the lamp and began to close my eyes.

…

But my eyelids wouldn't close. I was forced to stare up at the glow-in-the-dark stars that were plastered onto my ceiling.

The glowing stars stared blindly back.

They were a gift from Edward. I cringed. I didn't want to think about him, but alas, my subconscious thought differently.

-FLASHBACK-

"_Isabella Marie Swan, you're going to accept my gift whether you like it or not," He said, feigning a stern look. _

_We were sitting on my bed, talking while Charlie was at work. _

_"But-" I started. _

_He was faster. He shut me up by placing his lips against mine, and muttered, his breath blowing into my face, "Please?" He begged._

_He pulled away, only to stare at me intently, eyes dancing, his hands on my shoulders. _

_I looked at my feet, "Alright, fine." _

_Grinning, he grabbed a package that lay on my desk and brought it over to me. _

_"BUT," I said before he could do anything else, "You have to promise me that you won't ever, EVER, spend money on me again." _

_He must not have heard, or rather, chose not to hear what I'd said, for he didn't respond and pulled out a plastic bag with cut-out star shapes in it. _

_Before handing it to me, he answered with a mischievous smirk, "Like that's going to happen!" _

_And, before I had time to retort, he handed it to me, and said in a sweet, passionate tone of voice, breathing in my ear, "Bella. These are stars that you can put on your ceiling. They glow, and they symbolize our love… for even though we've faced obstacles, our love has gotten us through those hard times, and our love has remained, only to have grown stronger." _

_Tears welled up in my eyes. _

_"But we're so _different_," I said. "You're flawless… I'm human." _

_"We're more alike than you think," He whispered against my cheek, his lips touching the side of my mouth._

_I started crying, but was unable to continue sobbing when he kissed me. _

And now, as I stared up at the stars, the points of lights and reason, I cried silently. The tears just came. One moment I'm looking at my gift hanging on the ceiling, and the next, I find my face wet.

The stars… the points of light and hope and meaning… were mine fading?

Movement catches the corner of my eye, and I turn around.

Edward. He was now lying next to me, breathing slowly, deeply, eyes bright in the night.

"What's the matter, love?" He said, voice quivering with anxiousness.

I shook my head. Why _was _I crying?

"I-I thought you left me again," I gasped pathetically.

I felt him shake his head.

"Never would I dream of doing that again," He muttered, lips on my hair, holding me close.

Why did he care about what I thought all the time? Why did he spend time with me when he could be doing something else? Why did he choose me when there were plenty other girls? Better ones?

And, I didn't believe what he had said. We had nothing in common. He was perfect, I was ordinary and plain, just a girl. Just another human…

After a minute of stirring silence, I asked my question in the best way I could put it.

"…Why?"

He shifted so that he could look into my eyes intently, his eyes fresh and gold in the moonlight.

"Because, Bella," He said passionately.

"Because I love you."

The stars on my ceiling seemed to be suddenly glowing more brightly.


End file.
